Left the Longs Peak TH at 3am. Felt great cardiovascularly, a little sluggish in the legs. I made it to Granite Pass by 4:40am. Left achilles tendon had other plans for the day and started sending me some cramping and sharp pain, little bit on the right too. Can't mess with that, especially before you've done anything interesting on the agenda yet...must've kicked the hanging bag a little too hard in tkd. Took it easy going down, didn't feel like bothering with the poles. Back to TH at 7am. Drove home the long way down through Nederland with my windows down, the sun roof open and lots of loud tunes...that's fun to do once in a while. Now I'm here fancyin' a nap soon. But first:
Time to think though, which is a main reason why I like to solo climb in the first place. I was thinking about how a lot of people call me a "free bird" or "free spirit" etc...and whether that's actually a good thing or not. Whether I like the label or not, it's true. I cannot be satisfied with status quo normal everyday repetitive life. But what am I after? Experience. I like and need to have different experiences in life. There's not that much that scares me to try at least once. I think you're allowed to make mistakes along the way. What's important is that you learn the lessons presented. The lessons are not usually pretty, and sometimes they are not learned the first time, but to me, it's worth it. You only have one life. I mean, we don't REALLY know how this works and you could come back as a Walmart fishing earthworm in the cooler. Your day to go could be any day. I have had many reminders of this lately. One day a person is here with you, the next they are gone. Who wants to leave this world with regrets? Who wants to be on their death bed and wish they had more time to go out and have experiences..? No. When the time comes, yes there will inevitably be a few things I wish I had finished up....but not for lack of trying, and no regrets. I will not have regrets. (no I'm not currently dying or planning to so don't freak)
I realize this is a dramatic discussion. But there is nothing to argue about here. It's true, period. You live your life fully or you don't. Each person's idea of what "living fully" is different, of course, I realize that. And I realize that my definition is maybe considered extreme or even selfish and wrong by some. Well, it's just who I am...be self-righteous all you want, but then don't sign up to come along on the ride. If you think about it, can't anything you want for yourself that would make you happy be considered selfish in some way? Why do the people who realize what they need to be happy and go out in search of it get labeled selfish? Everyone is selfish to get what they need to thrive, when it comes down to it. It's just not the right word to use, in my opinion.
All I know is, you take a person away from what they love, you try to change them or constrain them to fit into other ideals, you get a sad, sad person. You get someone who feels caged. Caged is not a way to live. Feeling this way affects all others associated with this person in some way. It's a chain reaction, and not a good one. So what it comes down to is: whether you are the free bird or the well-mannered social "ideal", you need to respect the other view. Figure out what you're dealing with and go with it, right? Keep the keepers, toss the throwbacks, sort it out. But do not compromise your happiness to try to fit into someone elses box...it ain't gonna work. Let your freak flag fly and defend it.
And for those who want to Bible-thump? First and foremost, you are not God, so you have no right to judge others. God created free will. God created forgiveness. God know's we're a bunch of eff-ups. Would God want you to waste the beautiful life he has given to you? I....think....not. Do we need some rules for this? Yes. It's simple. Go to church if you like. Volunteer. Give to charity. Pray at night for the strength to be a decent human being. Do your best to be a nice person. Do unto others../walk in anothers' shoes... A majority of the time, everything works out fine.
Now go get it folks. And to those who already are...I tip my dirty selfish eff-up freebird hat to you.
The soapbox is now open. Zzzzzz