I sat in horror watching the TV that day, sitting on the edge of my bed while I was supposed to be getting ready for work. I lost all hope of composure as I saw people jumping. I could not believe what I was seeing. I saw the second plane hit on live TV. Whatever idiots I was watching just kept talking from their reports and tele-prompters as the rest of us watched the second plane plow into the south tower. It was my third week at that job and I felt like I had to go even if I was a mess. I heard of the north tower falling as I drove. I couldn't get on CNN all day at work to see what was going on. The entire internet was overloaded. I sat there like a zombie pretending to work and continuously trying to get any website. When I got home and saw the replay of the towers collapsing I almost threw up. Chad and I went to church that night and I just cried. I cried every time I turned on the TV and saw the pictures and people posting pictures of their missing loved ones. I checked the list for people I knew.
I can't imagine the pure horror of actually being there or being a first responder. I sit in awe at the bravery of the people who fought to take down Flight 93, sacrificing their lives.
I still cry every year and wish there was anything I could do for anyone to make it any better in any way, except to pray.
Some of my classmates today were wondering why the fighter jets were running so much over campus today. I knew why.
So last Monday was my one week post-op check up and I had about 90 flexion and full extension. They took out the sutures and said since I had full extension that I could start phasing out the crutches. Haven't really used them since. Phased out.
Once I started walking around a bit more all the garbage still sitting in my system started flushing out and I was a complete chemically-induced idiot until this past weekend. I was really starting to worry that it was permanent...
Let's talk about PT. First I tried to get in to Next Level PT here in Golden. That guy used to work for several pro sports teams, including the Broncos and Chicago Blackhawks, but they didn't take my insurance. Then I tried my friend's former boss when she was a PT aide who works in Cherry Creek, they don't take my insurace. So, I thought, I'll call Bob! Well, I guess the glory days are over. I sent Bob an email to see if he could fit me in (you're supposed to start PT 1-4 days post-op) and I got no answer...He probably thinks I'm still the same hot mess that kept tearing calf muscles repeatedly, turning ankles, and pulling hammies before the last thing could even get healed...SO I called up my first clinical instructor, Brian Forman, who has a private practice in Broomfield called Form and Fitness PT. Well, I know he's good, and he's a good guy. So I've had 4 PT sessions now. All I want to do is bend my knee all the way...but I can't force it...so it's heaven when he does the passive range of motion on my knee. I can't actively move it as far because my hamstring is still a pile of hamburger in there, but he got it to 134 on Tuesday (which is totally rock-star in two weeks)! I also got to do a few full spins on the recumbant stationary bike. That felt SOOOooo good. I got all excited to ride an actual bike. No. Not allowed to do that yet. Poop. I'm bored outta my mind! Guess I need to join the gym down the street to get my sweat on. I think I'll do that tomorrow...I'm bloated.
In terms of medical school...I am officially about to start the last week of my classes...EVER. I do need to get through the clinicals...but whatever. There is not a damn thing they can throw at me at this point that I can't deal with...cause I done seen it all folks...ALL. THEN, I think I will be motivated (to not have to study next summer for the typical exam date of the end of July) and take the NPTE licensure exam early in April with ma PT grrlz Sarah and Nat.
We are new-music-rich my friends...New Five Finger Death Punch (which I bought a while ago but am just getting around to listening to) - good. New Avenged Sevenfold -- real good. New Rise Against and AFI are coming out soon. AND BEST for last: The new NIN album that I have been waiting 5 years for is out and I already have a favorite track (Below)...Ah Trent, the only man that could never disappoint me, but we do have to chat about this "Everything" song...uh, that one's a fast forward all but one time. I can't even get through the first part to get to the comforting dissonance.
"I Would For You"
What a pathetic stray of words Just leave them laying on the floor The warning posted on the door Not over here not anymore
There was a place that could have been Step over all it used to be Since you have let yourself come in Somethings I'd rather you not see
See I keep lying to myself Don't know what else there is to do If I can be somebody else Well I think I would for you
Didn't it seem like something more So long I can't remember when All this has happened all before And this has happened all again And I only have myself to blame And I only have myself to blame
See I keep lying to myself Don't know what else there is to do If I can be somebody else Well I think I would for you See I keep lying to myself Don't know what else there is to do If I can be somebody else Well I think I would for you